Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize