too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
