I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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