I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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