I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
