be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
