Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Couch. On fire.
Randomize
