the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Randomize
