i don't like sucking hair
I understand Curling. That high.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
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