I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
everyone is single if you try hard enough
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
