Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
