I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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