What a fucking waste of an outfit
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
