Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I just gargled with NyQuil
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
