Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Randomize
