who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
