went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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