Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
