My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
I DEMAND FORESKIN
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
