do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Randomize