Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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