I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize