and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
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