My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
