There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
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