seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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