Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
