I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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