you guys were way drunker than both of me
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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