She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Randomize
