I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Do you have feelings for this penis?
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Randomize
