just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
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