Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
My butt remains clenched, sir.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Randomize
