I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize