these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
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