marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
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