Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(630): View more from Illinois

her vagine was all disorganized.

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(216): View more from Ohio

My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.

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(260): View more from Indiana

I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.

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(604): View more from British Columbia

I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.

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(214): View more from Texas

Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.

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(858): View more from California

for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers

Fav 19 4577 1998
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(703): View more from Virginia

that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good

(1-703): View more from Virginia

that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops

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(785): View more from Kansas

you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!

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