Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Randomize
