OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
