ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
