College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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