i think i recognize dicks better than faces
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
Randomize
