Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
