What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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