God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
