Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
We were destined to go to rehab together
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
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