when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
