So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
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