you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Randomize
