seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Randomize
