His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
