happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
