Whod you bang
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
