Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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