Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
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