one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Randomize
