Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
My breath smells like gin and sadness
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Randomize
