People in love make me want to vomit
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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