i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
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