at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
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