not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Randomize