yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
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