im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
